DEPRAVED INNOCENCE: The Education of a Porn Star Read online

  I spread out the ten one-hundred dollar bills.

  She looked at me, scared and concerned.

  “What did you have to do to earn those?”

  I got a beer from the fridge and told her. To give her credit, she didn’t freak out – too much.

  “This is going to be on the Internet?”

  “Yep.”

  “I was going to say, don’t tell your father...”

  “He already knows,” came his heavy voice behind me. We turned and he was standing in the doorway from the basement. He had a very strange defeated look on his face. His face was red to his hairline with suppressed anger. It alarmed Mom.

  “We reap what we sow,” he said, after a bit. “You’re a woman grown and I can’t tell you how to live your life, but...,” he looked on the verge of tears.

  “I had a phone call from Jack. They didn’t waste any time putting it up.”

  Mom went over and put her arms around him. “She did it for us.”

  “Jack wants her at the next Poker game,” Dad said miserably.

  Mom stiffened. “No. Not just no, but Hell, no! There’s a place where we draw the line. That’s not going to happen, now or ever!”

  “How? It’s already been seen by thousands of people.”

  “This is still our house. We make the rules and that is just out of bounds.”

  “Isn’t that my decision?“ I asked.

  “Not in my house,” Mom said firmly. “We had a little trouble and let people take advantage of us. That ends here. Jack can kiss my ass!”

  As I said, Uncle Jack, the jolly bully, gave me the williwaws anyway.

  I was never going to fuck him, for love or money!

  A few days later Justin called me to say that the audition video had over a million hits and they owed me lots more money for that and when could I make another video? I thought that we might see daylight on the bills, finally. Ten thousand dollars was not enough to get us even, but a couple of more videos should do it.

  “Ready when you are,” I replied quickly, before I could think better of it.

  “Well, it’s really too late to turn back, Rebecca. Everyone wants to know who you are. Some of the adult media reporters called for details. We have pirated posters from the shoot out there and all kinds of fan pages going up. You are a star, girl!”

  I couldn’t think of anything to say to that. I had the cold feeling that I had done something that could never be undone and would damage me; follow me around all my life. But, it was too late to change anything. I was caught. Trapped.

  So to my grieving parents, with a false confident smile, I said, “I got the job.”

  “Lucky me,” I added, and half-believed it.

  CHAPTER TWO:

  WE REAP WHAT WE SOW

  THE AUDITION WENT VIRAL and I got recognized. So it got crazy for a week or so and I had to hide out with the Spencers. Darrell Spencer was the boy who’d taken my virginity, and his half-sister Amy, my BFF - Best Friend Forever. Their father was in the music business and they had too much money, but I tried not to hold that against them, despite my reduced circumstances. Amy had offered me a live-in arrangement, but it didn’t feel right. A girl has her pride.

  And yes, she was the girlfriend I’d mentioned to Justin. We’d been each other’s sex toy and sister-in-crime since we’d met. Darrell had introduced her to me when we were dating...and he was the boyfriend I had when I wasn’t dating other guys. He was a player – a big black stud who got too much action – but also almost as good a friend as Amy.

  Justin set up to do a second video. He said we shouldn’t wait too long, but get it out while everyone was still excited about the new girl. His problem was casting the right guy(s) opposite me. He’d blurred his face on the audition video, explaining that he had to rep the company and his investors insisted on it. I thought I didn’t care, but I did.

  I was taking a lot of heat, and my parents were getting nasty phone calls and social worker visits, even though I was legally an adult. Simple harassment, Justin said. I felt a little resentful that I was the one so exposed, but Justin cut me another huge check, based on views received, and that made me feel better. The house was safe now, and my parents were almost even with the bills. I’d made my bed, so to speak, and now was ready to lie in it again.

  Darrell and Amy shared this big condo near the college, and he didn’t want to be seen with me. He was Pre-Law and thought the cops might harass him for being with me. Try to fit him with a “pimp” jacket. Amy, on the other hand, was a drama major, and you might say, a major drama queen. One with no interest in doing porn.

  “Darling,” she said when I suggested it, “You think black folks have ghettos? An actress who does porn never gets to do anything else. She’s a whore, a tootsie, a no-talent slut.”

  “And you are better than that?” Again, I could hear a slight tone of resentment in my voice. I was a little hurt.

  “I’m making it up to you aren’t I? By being your personal toilet slave?” She smiled winsomely. She has beautiful cafe-au-laut skin, very soft, and green eyes from her mother. The contrast is startling. She’s drop-dead gorgeous, too, with a tight little body. She’s about five feet one. Prettier than I am, and twice as kinky. Low threshold for boredom, so she was always on the look-out for new things to do sexually and new partners. I wouldn’t call her a slut, because she’s not that easy –and neither am I – but hardly a blushing virgin.

  I was laying on her bed, my legs spread wide while she shaved me, getting my pussy bald again for the shoot. She used this as an excuse to dominate me. My ankles were tied with thick ropes to the posts of her bed and my wrists were handcuffed above my head. I was a little apprehensive, since Darrell was also there, silently watching. Naked. A Black Adonis with his football player’s body and cut biceps and flat stomach six pack, his hand slowly stroking his huge black cock whose veins stood out like stone reliefs. Smiling. Waiting. Enjoying the moment. Just looking at him made me extremely horny – and he knew it, the prick!

  There was a price to be paid for shelter, but I was willing. When a local TV crew showed up at my house, I had run out the back door without my wallet or purse and vaulted over the fence into the neighbor’s yard. I did have my cellphone, and Amy answered, and then picked me up six blocks away in her red BMW and smuggled me back to their condo.

  I called my folks, and they said it was crazy and to stay away and be safe.

  Now Amy was having fun at my expense. Taking her own sweet time with that straight razor, being very careful.

  I felt something drip on my bare pussy. Something warm and sticky.

  “What’s that?” I asked, a little alarmed as she slid a small flat pillow beneath my ass.

  “Just some honey, Honey.” I could feel her fingers spreading it over my labia, parting my lips.

  I groaned. “I have to be there by noon.”

  “Oh, you’ll make it, Honey.” Her fingers slid into me and she bent forward, with a evil laugh. I felt her tongue licking the honey off my clit and then some suction. I gasped aloud, suddenly close to orgasm already.

  I whimpered, “Oh, please, please...” as she stopped and watched my face. Amy liked to make a scene last and last, if she could.

  Darrell laughed, a deep rumbling sound. It wasn’t the first time he’d watched Amy and me play with each other. But he just watched and had never touched either of us since high school.

  “You girls are like my little sisters and that would be wrong, “ he grinned when I challenged him on it. Well, Amy is his half-sister, but he could do me! He was a ‘player’ now, and I was yesterday’s news. I tried not to be too pissed off about it.

  “Nope,” he said, “I’d rather see you hot and bothered. It’s more fun.”

  Amy straddled my head and leaned forward, bringing her pussy close to my lips as she again went down on me, gently biting and sucking my clit. She had a slight fishy smell.

  “God, “ I said, “Don’t you ever wash it?”

&nbs
p; “You’re one to talk.” she chuckled, as my hips bucked upwards in another orgasm.

  “Don’t wear me out, “I warned, “I’m working today.” I bit her on one ass cheek, fairly hard, making her squeal.

  “You bitch!” she said.

  Don’t want to make her angry, I thought. She’d once kept me tied to the bed over a three-day weekend, and hadn’t let me cum once. She could be mean...and no one can hurt a woman like another woman. I let her have her way with me and she untied me without too much fake begging on my part. I got to work on time.

  Justin had a camera and lights set up opposite a leather arm chair in the outer office. He motioned towards the dressing room.

  “Go see if that costume fits,” he said.

  It was a lady’s business suit, and there were shoes with four inch heels. There was a new Victoria’s Secret black lace panty set, garter belt, matching bra and black silk stockings in a bag next to the shoes.

  “Change into that and let’s see if I got your sizes right,” he called from the outer office.

  “Are we going to shoot today?”

  “Maybe. I haven’t decided.”

  He came to the door. “I have an idea for a short clip, maybe ten or fifteen minutes, but the clothes have to be right. If there’s a problem we’ll have it tailored first.”

  I pulled off my street clothes and tried on the skirt and jacket of the suit. He looked at me critically.

  “It will do. Put on the underwear and then try the shoes.”

  He walked back into the outer office. He seemed distant and distracted.

  I followed a few minutes later.

  “How’s this?” I was swaying because the heels were too big.

  He looked again and nodded.

  “Sexy. Okay, here is what I have in mind. This will be a solo shot. We’ll do a scene later where you come in and ask the receptionist to see someone, and she goes away, telling you to wait. You start looking around and see that magazine, pick it up and start reading it. It’s porn, of course, and you get turned on and start playing with yourself, first just shifting around, then rubbing your breasts and squeezing them, and then opening your blouse. Then you hike up your skirts and spread your legs so the stocking tops can be seen and then start rubbing your clit through the panties. You get them wet enough to be seen through.”

  “Seems simple enough. White would work better.”

  “Not if you pull them aside and show some pink with your fingers.”

  “Oh.” I nodded. “I can do that.” I couldn’t believe I was having this conversation.

  “Then you hear the receptionist coming back, so you have to hide the magazine and put yourself back together very quickly. You’re embarrassed and try to cover. She tells you it will be a few more minutes and then leaves again.”

  I felt myself blushing. “She’s horny but also ashamed?”

  Justin smiled at me just a moment, “Yeah, and she can’t help but look at that magazine again.”

  “You realize that in real life this would never happen?”

  “So what? This is a fantasy for wankers.” He sighed. “Let me continue. She reaches for it and knocks that wooden cigar box off the table trying to put it back when she thinks she hears the receptionist coming back.”

  “Okay.”

  “Look in the box.”

  I opened it and discovered a large, long, flesh-colored vibrator. I giggled.

  “Not the response I’m hoping for,” Justin said, his irritation showing.

  “She’s there for a job interview and she’s going to get it on with that machine?”

  “That’s the theory.”

  I laughed outright. He smiled tightly.

  “Let me show you something.” He flipped open a laptop and waited for the screen to come alive, then typed a few keystrokes. A video clip came up. It was a crotch-on shot of a girl, blindfolded, her wrists and ankles in leather cuffs, bound together so that her pussy was totally and completely exposed.

  A pillow was under her ass to elevate it and her labia was wide open, swollen. A hand appeared in the scene holding an identical vibrator. It teased the girl’s labia with it for about a minute before slowly inserting it and then drawing it back out. The girl half screamed with pleasure. It was inserted again and then left there while the hand, rubbing a lubricant on her asshole, inserted a stiff column of plastic beads that were each slightly bigger than the one before. The girl moaned, her cries inarticulate and the hand took out the vibrator, and flipped open a short armature which was then applied to her clit. That drove her really wild and she thrashed about, unable to escape her bonds. Her belly, which had been flat, began to convulse. The vibrator was laid on the table, where it turned and twisted like some strange alien life form. The girl shuddered with multiple orgasms. Then the hand pulled out the anal beads in one swift movement and the girl almost fell of the table, so strongly did she react and scream. She almost broke free of her leather restraints. The clip ended.

  I felt sweat all over my body. I was flushed.

  “What did you think?”

  “Amazing. That’s one of yours?”

  He shook his head. “No. I wish. It got a million or so views in the four weeks it was up. No. Total amateur and anonymous. Put up for the fun of it, or maybe to humiliate the woman who is tied up.”

  “Really? People do that to each other for that?”

  “It’s one of the big fetishes now. Threaten to e-mail that to friends and family and you also have blackmail potential, which is another kink for some. There are other kinds of force than the usual physical ones. And this scene is all about people pretending to be forced into having sex against their will. That’s where the excitement comes from. Most people would never do either side of this, but they sure like to watch and fantasize about it.”

  “Yes, indeed.”

  I flashed on a mental image of Uncle Jack, the bastard who was ruining my parent’s marriage, and recalled that he’d had Mom suck his cock before Dad and the rest of the Poker club. He didn’t have to do that. He could have kept it private.

  “What kind of guy does that for real? Blackmail someone into sex?”

  Justin shook his head. “A sociopath; someone who doesn’t care about anybody but himself – but look carefully.”

  He played the clip again.

  “You can’t really see anything of the girl’s face, and there are no tattoos or other marks that make her easy to identify. And that’s not a guy holding the vibrator.”

  He froze the image. The hand was a slender, elegant one with long fingernails, like a model’s.

  “That’s another woman. This is a Lesbian scene.”

  “So?”

  “Come on. The dominant one invites the submissive to have a little party and turns her into silly putty but doesn’t let her know the whole thing is being videoed? That is real blackmail, if she’s got a high level job or a marriage she wants to keep. The fact that it’s no longer up means that it was not just bragging, and that someone got paid off. Usually these things are up forever.”

  “That’s quite an imagination you have, Justin.”

  “Yeah. Maybe we’ll use it as a story line in a long feature.” He did not seem happy with that idea. He handed me the vibrator.

  “Get familiar with your new friend. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

  “What’s wrong? Why are you angry?”

  “Your audition tape has gotten us a lot of attention we didn’t want. There’s a private detective nosing about, and we may have trouble with the authorities.”

  I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

  “Are you going to fire me?”

  “No. Wouldn’t dream of it. This is First Amendment protected, and our investors want more...and you do not disappoint those guys, cops or no cops. Go play with yourself with that thing.”

  He went to the refrigerator and got himself a soda.

  Remembering his manners, he offered me one. I took it and made a kissing ges
ture. That got him to laugh and loosen up.

  That vibrator was definitely something different.

  It did twist and turn and had the little arm for the clit. It was high tech and I wanted one! I could have some real fun with Amy with it. Or just with it. The sensations it produced flowed through my body like surf hitting a beach. I couldn’t help but moan and then scream.

  “Save it for the shoot,” Justin shouted from the next room.

  I got so wet, I needed to put on another set of panties. It slid in and out easily, producing sensations down there I’d never felt before. It was like being eaten and fucked all at once. My pussy became the only thing in the room, the only thing I cared about or felt. If I’d had a cock to suck, it would have been perfect.

  Justin made me do the scene he’d outlined three times before he was satisfied. I was a little wrung out, because the orgasms were very real, nothing faked. Which Justin liked because he took a perverse pride in the quality of his work. He kissed me after the third time.

  “That’s a wrap for today. We’ll do the cut-in scenes next time. Sylvia should be here, then. And you’ll be doing another, longer clip with her at her house.”

  “What kind of scene?”

  “She’s a pretty good looking M.I.L.F.”

  I must have looked puzzled. He stopped. “That’s industry jargon. It means ‘Mom I’d Like to Fuck’.”

  “And we’re going to do a Lesbian scene?”

  “Older woman seduces first time ingenue. It’s a classic, but people never get tired of them. They’re an evergreen. It will run about an hour.”

  “Wow.”

  “Problem?”

  “I’m just glad my mother doesn’t watch porn.”

  And then it suddenly occurred to me that I didn’t know for sure if she did or didn’t. We’d never talked about that. I had asked her another question before I got run out of the house that she probably never expected to hear from her darling daughter.

  “Mom, have you ever been fucked in the ass?”